A Really, Really Independent Candidate 

By Patrick F. Cannon

It’s been reported that elements of the Republican Party are casting about for a possible independent candidate to run against Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton. It appears no one really likes either of them, which begs the question: what the hell is the country coming to?

Anyway, there are any number of names being mentioned, including Michael Bloomberg and Mitt Romney. Both fine fellows, I’m sure, but a bit over the hill, wouldn’t you think? Being as worried as the next citizen about the future of our country, I wracked my brain over my luncheon of corn dogs and wheat chaff yesterday and a name popped into my mind; someone who, I’m certain, would find favor with the electorate.

I’m speaking of that great American – born in Brooklyn just like Bernie – Mel Brooks. While some may consider him too old, I saw him in a recent interview and can attest to his continuing sharpness. After all, he won’t be 100 until 2026, and would only be 99 when he left office after his second term.

His experience is unparalleled. He is a veteran of World War II, so a member of the Greatest Generation.  He is a scholar of repute. One of his movies is A History of the World, Part One, and he explored the troubled history of our treatment of Native- and African-Americans in Blazing Saddles. Nor has be ignored the fields of philosophy and psychiatry. Who can forget the existential angst of High Anxiety?

            He can sing too. His rendition of the title song from the aforementioned film has been compared with the best of Wayne Newton. And who but he could have penned that classic ditty, Springtime for Hitler?

His honors are numerous. Neither Trump nor Clinton can boast an Oscar, an Emmy, a Grammy and a Tony. He is a recipient of the Kennedy Center Honors, and received the Lifetime Achievement Award of the American Film Institute for the profound depth and humanity of his films. His foreign policy bona fides were validated when he was awarded the Fellowship of the British Film Institute.

So, don’t be surprised when William Kristol of The Weekly Standard, who foams at the mouth at the very mention of Donald Trump, tries to talk Mel Brooks into saving the country. Who knows, he might do it just for the laughs.

Also, he still has some hair, and doesn’t give a crap how it looks.

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Copyright 2016, Patrick F. Cannon