The Drama Begins II
A One Act Play
By Patrick F. Cannon
Scene: We are in the Oval Office at the White House at 5:00 pm on January 20, 2017. Former President Bill Clinton, alone, sits behind the desk. He smiles wistfully as he looks around the room, decorated much as he remembers it, except for a photo of the Class of 1965 from Maine South High School in Park Ridge, Illinois that has pride of place on one wall. The door opens and President Hillary Rodham Clinton enters, pauses when she sees her husband at her desk, mutters “shit” under her breath and walks directly to a side door that leads to a small private space. She opens it, looks around, and seeing nothing, slams it shut and faces her husband.
Hillary: You’ve had your fun. I don’t want to see you there again.
Bill: Ah, Hill, just havin’ a little fun. Here, take a load off.
(Bill Clinton gets up from the chair and moves to the other side of the desk, Hillary takes his place, and looks around the Oval Office with a look of pure joy.)
Hillary: Well, it took awhile, but I finally made it. By the way, just what did I promise old Bernie if he would support me?
Bill: It was kind of vague – I think you mentioned some kind of cabinet position.
Hillary: Well, it’s one thing to make a promise, but what cabinet office would suit an unreconstructed socialist like Bernie?
Bill: How about Secretary of Agriculture? I can hear the old coot now advocating the redistribution of the land and forming collective farms. He’ll put the fear of God in Monsanto and the rest of that crowd.
Hillary: Well, maybe I need to think about Bernie a little more. Elizabeth Warren is the more immediate problem. I just know she’s going to ask for Treasury. Imagine what my donors would say to that! By the way, someone has to tell her she can’t wear the same color pants suit as me. They’ll start calling us tweedle dum and tweedle dee. You’re the Chief of Staff now. Have our people talk to hers and get this coordinated. By the way, what president started this thing about walking part of the way during the Inaugural Parade?
Bill: I think it was Jimmy Carter.
Hillary: Fat lot of good it did him. Anyway, he didn’t have to wear high heels – my feet are killing me.
(Bill picks up a phone.)
Bill: Darlin’, would you send someone up to the residence and get the President a pair of flip flops? She does love her flip flops.
(He hangs up and smiles.)
See, Hill, what the President wants the President gets.
Hillary: Who’s this “darlin’” you called?
Bill: Just one of the new interns I hired to help out around here.
Hillary: Intern! Intern! Don’t you ever learn? I want all of our female interns sent over to work for Rahm at Homeland Security.
Bill: Ah, Hill, can’t I keep just a couple?
Hillary: No way. We barely won the election, so I don’t want people to get started talking about you. And please try to remember to call me “Madame President” when anyone else is in the room.
Bill: OK, OK. But keep in mind that no one likes you, and it was me who put you over the top. And of course the dumb Republicans helped too by nominating a knucklehead like Trump.
Hillary: It did help me, but keep in mind that they did keep control of Congress. So much for the death of the Republican Party.
Bill: I think that might work out just fine. You know most of them, and what makes them tick. His eminence the former President wouldn’t stoop to their level, even the Democrats. But you never minded being down in the mud where they’re comfortable, and they know they’d lie and cheat just like you to be President. That’s why they liked Lyndon more than Jimmy, and why they’ll be willing to deal. And that’s the Gods honest truth.
Hillary: It is a great country, isn’t it? And that’s no lie.
Copyright 2016, Patrick F. Cannon
2 thoughts on “The Drama Begins II”
This is better than SNL! She loves her flip-flops! Bernie as Ag Sec! Can just see him leading choruses of “This land is your land…”
As he’s a Brooklyn boy, I’m sure he can sing up a storm.