Is Two a Collection?
By Patrick F. Cannon
I get the digital edition of the New York Times. Because I once visited their web site to check on something, one of the ads that pops up regularly is for the auction house, Sotheby’s. The other day, the ad led me to information about an auction of wrist watches in Hong Kong. The estimates quoted were in Hong Kong dollars. My feeble math conversions told me that many of the time pieces were expected to fetch US$250,000 or even more.
As it happens, I own two watches, both getting on in years. One is a Seiko, which adorns my wrist as I write this. My wife Jeanette bought it for me as a present nearly 40 years ago. Every once in a while I have to change the battery, but it keeps perfect time (or near enough for me). The other – a Hugo Boss – was a gift from the former foreign minister of the Republic of Korea. I don’t recall exactly, but I’m thinking it’s about 25 years old. My benefactor was then an international director of Lions Clubs International; he later became its international president.
Although it says “Swiss” on the dial, I was initially suspicious, since Korea then was notorious for what are called “copy watches,” which look like the real thing, but stop running about the time you get them home. Not so in this case; the watch still keeps perfect time, and I alternate wearing it with the Seiko.
It would never occur to me to have a collection of watches that I didn’t wear. Don’t get me wrong. Some of the watches in the Sotheby’s auction are quite stunning, combining art with precision technology. If you’ve ever seen the workings of a Patek Philippe, Breguet, Omega or Rolex, you can’t help but admire the skill that went into the manufacture and assembly of those teeny tiny parts. But I would have thought that all of that artistry is wasted if the watch is never actually used to tell the time of day, or to time one’s racehorse.
Automobiles are another area where the highest prices are often paid for cars that have never been driven. I like cars, but it would never occur to me to buy one and put it in the garage. In many cases, the intent is to hold it (and I’m sure that holds true for many collectibles) until the value goes up, then sell it to another collector who won’t drive it either. Believe me, if I bought a Ferrari, it would be tearing down the road almost immediately.
I’m told that one of the hottest areas for collectors is sneakers. Again, they should be unworn unless they had been worn in battle by someone like Michael Jordon. A pair of his recently sold for a record $2.2 million. When I was a lad, you got a pair of sneakers (we called them tennies) at the beginning of Summer, and wore them out by the time school started again in September. As I recall, they had to be disposed of as hazardous waste.
But people, and markets, are fickle. You might get caught holding the bag if the market for fancy purses collapses. As for me, I do have quite a few books. Who knows, maybe one or two are worth more than I paid for them. The water colors, etchings, lithographs and photographs on my walls are there because they remind me of the places I’ve been, and the books I’ve written. I even have a framed photograph of a Cow Moose that I bought at an outdoor art fair in Crystal Lake, Illinois. That Moose was standing in the water in Maine, looking directly at me and saying “take me home.” So, I did. I wonder if I should start collecting Moose pictures?
Copyright 2023, Patrick F. Cannon
cannonnadedotcom 
Not to be nit picky but I think it’s Crystal Lake dear Patrick. 🙂
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Huh?
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Pat, I wish I had read your column years ago. Now I don’t know what to do with my hoard of Cabbage Patch dolls and Hummel figurines. Do you think Antiques Roadshow would be interested?
Two is company, three is a collection. An exception would be my sock drawer’s accumulation of wristwatches. There is an old Eddie Bauer field watch and a Swiss Army watch, both purchased years ago, and an elegant Tissot received as a gift from a Swiss company owner I worked with (he also gave me a silver Caran d’Ache pen I still use). I recently replaced the batteries after the watches had sat silent for years. Then there is a wind-up Longines which I found in an old box of junk at home. I thought it, like your Hugo Boss, was an Asian knock off, as it had a worn, faux alligator wrist band, but it ran and kept time. When I took it to a jeweler to replace the band, it revealed itself to be genuine. And then there is the rotten Apple watch , which does all sorts of annoying things, including pester you when you go for a walk and beep every time someone sends a text message.
Collecting watches, old fountain pens, tie clasps and other accessories is often a thing lawyers do to add some interest to their lives. I had a stock broker uncle who collected eyeglasses with various frames; he wore a different one every day. I’m not even sure he needed glasses.
Sports cars are meant to be driven (unless you run a museum) like fine wine is meant to be drunk. Bordeaux futures are too kinky for me. I keep in the basement at least a dozen bottles of various wines — red, white, sparkling, dessert — to have on hand to match up with food I like. But food and drink are not a collection, more like a supply.
You should collect moose (mooses?). There may even be a social organization for it. I remember a fellow who collected lighthouses, in depicted form of course, even on neckties and stuff like that. A nice fellow. I wonder if he ever considered the Freudian implications of his hobby. But you know, sometimes you just like something and want to own more it, the way Ivy League schools do with endowments, and Mickey Rooney, wives.
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I once had two fountain pens, a Mont Blanc and a Watermans. I used them extensively before I retired, but never after. My son, who buys and sells guitars as a hobby, sold them for me. As I recall, I got about $600 for the pair. They were lovely things, but must have been lonely sitting in a drawer.
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