By Patrick F. Cannon

A few years ago, I did a piece titled “Poor Little Rich Girl”, about child support payments from an uber rich man to a much younger ex-wife who had born him a daughter. The cost of raising the little darling was estimated to be about $3.5 million a year.

At the end of the article, I quoted author F. Scott Fitzgerald’s comment that “the rich are different from you and me,” and Ernest Hemingway’s rejoinder: “yes, they have more money.” That they’re willing to spend lavishly to enhance their comfort was demonstrated yet again in an article in the New York Times (of course) about the amounts they’re happy to dispense to avoid doing anything resembling domestic labor.

If you’re one of the 10 million people who subscribe to the Times digital edition, you’ll be aware that living in Manhattan is becoming out of reach for most middle-class folks. The rich, however, take it in stride, although costs are on the rise. For example, housekeepers now earn about $45 and hour, and competition for a good one means you will probably have to offer health insurance and other perks. If you have several homes, you might need an estate manager or chief of staff at upwards of $350,000 annually.

In the interests of full disclosure, I confess I have a cleaning service every two weeks. A team of two Hispanic women spend a couple of hours making my two-bedroom condo spic and span. They do not make $45 an hour, although I do tip them.

I live alone, so have to do my own cooking, although I rarely miss an opportunity to eat out, or eat already-prepared meals. Many Manhattanites employ a full-time chef at the going rate of $150,000 a year. They prepare only lunch and dinner, with breakfast the responsibility of the housekeeper. That’s because mornings are spent shopping for only the finest ingredients, like a live Norwegian red king crab at a mere $720 per. And why trust your wardrobe to the local cleaners when you can employ your own laundress to make sure that shirt is flawless at $50 an hour.

The rich also believe that raising children is best left to the professionals. A new trend is to have at least two nannies, each working several days, then taking a few days to recover, and so on. A typical salary would be about $120,00 a year (for each). Of course, cost is no object when it comes to raising one’s children.

Pets must also be pampered. Although the housekeeper is often tasked with walking Fido, many owners also enrich their lives by sending them upstate to be set free in natural surroundings for the day, at $250 per. Grooming, a monthly necessity for many breeds, can add another $150, plus cab fare. Initial training, surely a necessity, can cost $3,000. Wouldn’t want your darling Coton de Tulear peeing on the antique oriental, would you?

Oh, by the way, that in-house chef needs a day off occasionally, so dining out must be faced. Reservations at New York City’s hottest eateries can be hard to get even for the rich, but not to worry – there are web sites where you can bid on available tables. The Times reported that a two-top (in Chicago, that’s a table for two) at Carbone could be had for $450, not of course including the food. Since it’s New York, a meal of Veal Marsala, with an appetizer and house salad will only set you back about $160, plus tip. Add another $18 for a glass of house wine, if you would dare to be seen ordering such a thing. This is only about twice what you’d pay in Chicago, but, hey, you’re in New York!

I must look up what a full-time chauffeur costs. Driving oneself can be pure torture, even in a Bentley.

Copyright 2023, Patrick F. Cannon