By Patrick F. Cannon
Thank God I don’t have to fly much anymore. Just got back from Tampa on a visit to my son Patrick, and it was the usual uncomfortable experience. Small seats, no legroom, full flight, crumbly cookies, narrow aisle – well, if you fly, you know it’s no fun. Thankfully, it was only a two-and-a-half-hour flight, and it was on time.
Look, I understand economics. The airlines want to get as many seats as they can on their airplanes. The Federal government regulates them and could theoretically mandate larger seats with more leg room, but they have to balance that against this: “fewer seats, higher fares.” The resulting equation means OK comfort for someone 5 feet 3 inches, weighing 130 pounds, but torture for me at 6 feet 2 inches and 240. The reality is that my knees touch the seat in front of me. And, to add to the torture, you’re not allowed to get up and stand in that narrow aisle, once a Godsend on longer flights.
If you’re old enough, you can remember better days. I flew commercially for the first time in 1956, when I moved from Pittsburgh to Chicago after my mother died. As I recall, the plane was a two-engine turboprop, and we landed at the newly-opened O’Hare. Over the years since, I have been on just about every commercial craft then flying, starting with the legendary DC-3, which took me from Nairobi, Kenya to a dirt landing strip near a game park.
My first time in the air was in a Piper Cub, piloted by an employee of my father, who had been a World War II pilot. I have no idea where the little airport was, but it must have been a southern or western suburb of Chicago. I have also been up a couple of times with my pilot son in a Cessna 172. The only other single-engine plane I can recall flying in was one the US Army used for courier service in France. As I recall, it had a radial engine and could accommodate six passengers. Also in the Army, I flew from Augusta, Georgia to McGuire Air Force Base in New Jersey – enroute to the ship that would take me to France – in a Lockheed Constellation. Early in my post-Army career, I also flew in its piston-engine competitor, the Douglas DC-7.
My first business flight was in 1963 from Chicago to New York for an orientation session with my new employer, the Union Camp Corporation. We flew in a Sud Aviation Caravelle, a twinjet manufactured in France. Get this! It was all first-class, and only male passengers were permitted! We were served cocktails and steaks by young and comely stewardesses (still called that in those pre-politically correct days).
You newer fliers may be interested to know that some early versions of the Boeing 747 jumbo jet actually had bars, some with pianos. Because even the coach seats were adequate and even comfortable, and you could stretch your legs and even join a sing-along, travel was at least bearable. And, of course, for any flight longer than a couple of hours, you got a meal, which was not always great, but at least something you didn’t have to bring aboard.
Before I retired, I mostly flew business or first class for longer flights. Now, I suffer with the folks in steerage. For some international flights, airlines offer an upgrade for coach seats that provide a bit more leg room. It’s another dodge like baggage fees, but worth it if you’re taller than average.
There was a day when air travel was an adventure. People actually went to the airport to see friends and family off on their adventures. No more. And no more smiling faces in the departure lounge or singing “Fly Me to the Moon” at the piano bar.
Copyright 2024, Patrick F. Cannon
cannonnadedotcom 
On my last trans-Atlantic trip in October on American, from Chicago to Rome, the airline’s strategy to spur the passenger to upgrade to Premium Economy or Business class (for handsome sums, I might add) was to make Economy seating comfort just shy of unbearable for the duration of the flight, but not so bearable that it allowed you to recline or twist yourself into a position that allowed sleep. The cost of upgrades varies radically depending on the airline, the routing , when a flight is booked, and seat availability. In some rare cases, Business Class can be had for about the same price as Premium Economy, but you have to be lucky. You are playing house odds and the chances of a jackpot are slim. Premium Economy can double an Economy fare, and Business Class can double that. As to service in flight, fuggettabboutit. On American, outbound the dinner served was inedible, a microwaved mass of grey protoplasm. Breakfast before landing was wrapped in a plastic package and literally thrown at you. Fortunately the coffee bar at Fiumicino was open and fantastic. The return flight at least had meals prepared in Rome and could actually be recognized, tasted and digested. The airline personnel were marginally more cheerful too.
So yes, you can fly to Europe, for example, relatively cheaply, and if you want creature comforts, you can pay extra for them. Domestically, the more roomy front cabin seems reserved for frequent travelers who convert points, but otherwise lacks significant amenities. We often fly Southwest, which for an extra fee, lets you get on the plane early and find a decent seat, sometimes with luck in the very first row. That’s about as good as it gets. For our Florida trip last month we had thought about driving, but it meant two and a half days on the road versus two and a half hours in the air. No brainer.
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I do fly Southwest when fares are equal or lower, and it is less hassle. If I fly to Europe again, I’m going to grit my teeth and pay for better seats.
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