By Patrick F. Cannon

In 1955, after the post World War II occupation was over and the new Federal Republic Germany came into being, it became a member of NATO, not without some controversy. However, the need for another bulwark against the looming threat of the USSR overcame these misgivings in many minds, including President Eisenhower’s, whose endorsement tilted the balance.

            Nevertheless, they mounted a public relations program to allay any remaining qualms. Part of the program was to send members of the new German armed forces on speaking tours of the United States as a way of proving they had put the bad old days behind them. One of the officers sent to the Chicago area was the young Luftwaffe general Werner von Klingler. He had been an ace in the war, but only on the Russian front, so had not shot down any Americans.

            His main Chicago speech was at the Council on Foreign Relations, but he was also booked to speak at Oak Park’s 19^th Century Women’s Club, whose members were at the social top of that prosperous and conservative suburb. Owning their own impressive building, among their former members had been both the mother and wife of Frank Lloyd Wright, and Ernest Hemingway’s mother. (It survives today as the 19^th Century Charitable Association, and now includes men among its members.)

             After a fine lunch of Iceberg Lettuce salad, Chicken a la King, and Banana Cream pie, the general was introduced. Although his English was adequate, he spoke from a prepared script, emphasizing how West Germany had abandoned its formerly wicked ways and had embraced democracy and would help us stand firm against the Russian hordes. When he was finished, his aide, a young German officer, joined him at the podium. “The general,” he said, “will have time to take some of your questions. Please raise your hand if you have one.” Several did, and the office recognized one of them, a formidable matron in a flower-bedecked chapeau.

            “General,” she asked, “is it true that during the war you were shot down by your own men?”

            “Ya, das is true,” replied the general.

            “Could you give us details?”

            “Vell, I vas flying along looking for Russians to shoot down, ven out of da blue come dis fokker…” At that, the room erupted in screams, cries and even moans, such a word never having been uttered in these genteel precincts. The young officer quickly sought to quiet the ladies. “Ladies, please, you have misunderstood the general. We can explain! Please calm down and let us provide an explanation!” Eventually, the crowd grew quiet enough for the young man to address the general.

            “General, isn’t it true that during the war the Luftwaffe had a fighter plane called the Focke-Wolf 190?”

            “Ya, das is true. We had such a plane.”

            “And isn’t it true that the pilots of these planes were sometimes call  “Fokkers”

            “Ya, das is also true, but this Fokker was flying a Messerschmitt!”

            At this, the room erupted again, some of the ladies even fainting. Nowadays, of course, Oak Park having changed socially and politically to the point it is often fondly called the Socialist Republic of Oak Park, one can hardly walk a block without hearing the F word, even from the mouths of babes.

Copyright 2024, Patrick F. Cannon