By Patrick F. Cannon

As I’m running for president, I thought I should have a platform. Both the Republicans and Democrats go through the motions of creating one, which they ignore because they know no one takes them seriously (have you ever read one?).

            Nevertheless, as a serious candidate, I thought I should have one. I set aside an hour of my valuable time and produced a program that should gain the support of most of my fellow Americans. And unlike the major political parties,  it’s short enough to read in one sitting (or even standing up if that suits you better).

            My foreign policy is simple – we oppose anything the Russians, Chinese and Iranians want. Take Ukraine, for example. President (for life) Putin wants to reconstitute the old Russian empire (which once included most of Eastern Europe). If we let him have Ukraine, he may cast his greedy eyes on Poland, which was once part of Russia. I’m reminded of British Prime Minister Neville Chamberlain’s remark justifying giving Germany part of Czechoslovakia. He called it “a quarrel in a faraway country between people of whom we know nothing.” So, they gave Germany the Sudetenland, then Germany took the rest, then Austria, then Poland, then (well, you get the idea).

            My barber is from Albania. He grew up under the Communist regime, one of the worst in the Soviet bloc. Now, when he returns to visit, he wonders at the steady economic progress it has made since the Russian left. He says the Albanians fear that if Russian is permitted to prevail in Ukraine, they might be next. Of course, the Baltic states have even mor reason to worry.

            Immigration? I believe in it, but only legal and planned immigration. Not sure we need a wall, but we certainly need better border security. Since our birthrate is so low, sensible immigration is the only way the country can thrive economically. Japan’s economy was once the envy of the world. A low birthrate and restricted immigration have resulted in Japan’s population aging and declining, along with its economy. My father was born in Ireland. If he’d been kept out of the USA, I’d be digging turf in County Mayo. As it happens, quite a few of our politicians believe in immigration, but only for folks from Western Europe. Guess what? They mostly like it where they’re at.

            Occasionally, our knucklehead politicians mutter something about balancing the budget. Obviously, they don’t mean it. While the president doesn’t control all spending – the dreaded entitlements are largely immune from any controls until Congress comes to their senses  – he or she does have a say on a lot of it. On my first day in office, I’m going to order all those departments and agencies to cut their next year’s budgets by 5 percent. And the next year, another 5 percent. They’ll scream bloody murder, and they’ll never admit how easy it turned out  to be.

            I’m going to put my old idea of consolidating all income-related programs into one cabinet department front and center. Instead of the earned-income tax credit, housing vouchers, and food assistance (and God knows how many others) being administered by separate departments, families should get one payment from one department, maybe Treasury through the IRS. And the formula should be simple – family income and number of dependents. And while I’m at it, I’m going to ask Congress to consolidate and/or eliminate existing cabinet departments. And I’ll veto any attempt to make the current tax cut permanent unless the budget is cut (and I hate taxes!).

            George Washington made do with four – State, Treasury, War, and Justice (Attorney General). We now have 15! To begin with, I would return Veteran’s Affairs to the Defense Department; put Energy into Interior; Housing and Urban Development into Health and Human Services; Transportation into Commerce; and consider the outright elimination of Education and Homeland Security. The education of our children has always been a local matter; and Homeland Security just added an extra layer of bureaucracy with no discernable improvement in our actual security. Oh, and let’s not forget the numerous independent agencies and boards that come under the heading of “it seemed like a good idea at the time.” For many, that time has passed!

            And while I’m on our muddle-headed legislators, if I’m elected, I will veto any bill that leaves any doubt about how it is to be implemented. Too much legislation is open to interpretation by career civil servants who may have personal opinions that tend to broaden the scope of the legislation far beyond its original intent. Why do you think everything takes longer to get done, and costs far more than it should?

            On the environment, let’s take a deep breath, shall we? While global warming is a reality, and a serious problem in some parts of the world, it can’t be stopped overnight. We now get about 20 percent of our power from non-fossil sources, including wind, solar, hydro, and nuclear. This is slowly increasing and will someday largely eliminate the need for fossil sources. In the meantime, let’s get our coal, gas, and oil from our own land. In the short term, we should take advantage of new nuclear technology, and support research into carbon capture, hydrogen, and other clean sources.

            Finally, although I think Trump’s claim that he actually won the 2020 election is absurd, I do think that voters should be required to show proper identification. Although you might be forgiven for thinking otherwise, most states (and other countries) already require it. I would support a uniform Federal law making it mandatory. And while I support early voting, I think absentee ballots should be limited to voters living temporarily out of state; or to voters who can’t get to the polls for health reasons.

            So, that’s my platform. And I warrant it was prepared without recourse to A.I., so you have only me to blame. (And by the way, it took you about five minutes to read this. Could my opponents claim the same?)

Copyright 2024, Patrick F. Cannon