Dogs, Part Two 

By Patrick F. Cannon

If you read Dogs, Part One, you may have realized that it disposed of only one of the eight dogs I have owned. You may now fear that this series will go on and on as each week I tell you about the other seven in turn. You may also ask with some justification why I’m not using this space to point out that tomorrow the buffoonish vulgarian Trump will be inaugurated.

Fear not. This week I will dispose of several dogs, and I’ll let the professional soothsayers wish they could dispose of Mr. Trump. As for me, I’m dropping my subscriptions to the New York Times, the Nation, the New Republic, and Mother Jones; and adding Mad Magazine and The Onion.

Back to the real dogs. After our Irish Setter, Rusty, failed to return from her evening run, I didn’t own another dog until I was married with two small children.  With my first wife, Mary, and toddler Patrick and infant Beth, I was living in Albert Lea, Minnesota. Now, Mary was the daughter of a man who had once raised German Shepherds in a small Chicago apartment. A man who would rather dream than work, he later built a shed on his property in Lake Geneva, Wisconsin to house his carrier pigeons. Anyway, Mary loved dogs (pigeons not so much) and so we decided to get one.

As it happened, a man who worked for me raised Golden Retrievers as hunting dogs. He had a litter on hand, and we bought a male puppy who we named Caliban, after the troublesome sprite in Shakespeare’s The Tempest. The idea was that he and the kids would grow up together in love and harmony. Alas, dogs grow to their full size in about a year. Humans take somewhat longer. Now, Caliban was at the top of the Golden size scale and in his enthusiasm took to knocking my toddler son Patrick down on a more or less regular basis, mostly on hard surfaces. They didn’t have a concussion protocol in those days, so eventually we had to choose between our son and the dog. I won’t keep you in suspense; we chose Patrick.

A corporate power struggle, which my boss lost, caused us to return to the Chicago area to seek employment, and eventually we settled in Glenview. An opportunity to adopt a foundling Dalmatian named Dancer presented itself and we took the orphan in. It turned out he was an untrainable lunatic, although quite handsome. He also, to put it as discreetly as I can, had a serious problem with fecal gas. Indeed, he had the power to drive one out of a room or even the house. The combination eventually sent him packing.

After we moved to Oak Park in 1974 – where I would live for the next 42 years – Mary decided what we really needed was a German Shepherd, of which she had fond childhood memories. She found a breeder with pups, located Downstate (defined as anywhere in Illinois not in Cook or the immediately surrounding counties).  We visited and picked out a cute little guy and named him Sam. I mentioned that dogs grow quickly, and Sam became a big, handsome fellow in short order. He had a highly developed protective instinct and a taste for wooden furniture.

Despite our best efforts, we were never able to cure him of these tendencies. At the same time that many of our friends told us that they were afraid to visit, I noticed a piece in the paper reporting that the Chicago Police Department was looking for recruits for its canine unit. Dear Sam soon became Office Sam and I like to think he struck fear into the hearts of malefactors throughout the city.

Our next dog was another foundling, a miniature Poodle named Mimi. We got her through the efforts of my mother-in-law Lil, who called one day and said someone at her workplace had a dog that needed a home, and dear Lil immediately said yes on our behalf. When would we come to pick the dog up?

Mimi was as sweet as a dog could be, although I had my doubts about the purity of her pedigree. Nevertheless, we loved and enjoyed her until she wandered out of the back yard and was run over and killed in our common driveway by a careless neighbor.

By now, you must be saying to yourself: clearly, this man is not meant to have a dog. But, against all odds, my luck was about to change. (To be continued.)

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Copyright 2017, Patrick F. Cannon

 

 

Dogs, Part One 

By Patrick F. Cannon

I have owned eight dogs, and almost a ninth. The ninth might have been the first, but it made a tragic mistake. Let me explain. I was living in Homestead, PA, and was either in the last part of first grade or the first part of second grade. My memory is a bit fuzzy in that regard. Anyway, as I recall, my brother Pete and I were ambling along an alley and came upon a stray dog, who defined perfectly the breed “Shaggy Dog.” He eagerly followed us home, perhaps helped along with a bit of rope.

We showed it to our mother, begging her to let us keep it (all young boys want dogs, as you must know). She was dubious, but decided to seek higher authority: “Tie it on the porch. Your father will decide when he gets home.” This we did, and left it there, perhaps repairing to the back yard (black steel mill soot only) to shoot some marbles. Thus, we were not there when my father trudged up the steps to the porch, to be greeted and then bitten by “Shaggy.” My father responded by giving the offender a good kick down the stairs. It wisely took off, never to be seen again.

Not long after, we moved to Chicago’s South Shore neighborhood, where my father was to manage a branch of a furnace company (he later started his own company). Dad was an outgoing, even charismatic, man and made many friends, quite a few in the nicer bars on 71^st Street. One of them offered him a female Irish Setter named Rusty. Perhaps feeling guilty for kicking “Shaggy” back into homelessness, he actually accepted.

Now, there was some story told then about why she was in need of a home, but I later suspected that she had been used for breeding and had to be retired. Now, perhaps your image of an Irish Setter is of a proud prancing redhead with shining, flouncing coat. Rusty was in contrast a bit on the dowdy side. Her coat was somewhat faded, and it occurs to me now that she was probably at least 10 years old.

She was very sweet, and patiently put up with the attentions of two young boys who – along with their parents – didn’t have a clue about how to properly care for a dog. We fed her the cheapest dog food my mother could find, Rival, although my father would occasionally come home with some horse meat. She also was given leftover meat bones, which now is apparently a no-no. We did bathe her, which was a hoot, as she would shake wildly after we rinsed her, thus inundating anything within 10 feet.

We lived across the street from the Jackson Park golf course, and in the evenings we would take her there and she would endlessly chase birds. Once, she managed to catch a Mallard duck near a lagoon, which she proudly deposited at our feet. It was unharmed, if somewhat put out. She had, as they say of bird dogs, a soft mouth.

At first, we took her out for her walks. Eventually, however, we took to just opening the back door (we lived in a large apartment building, with the courtyard in the back) and letting her out. She would run down the stairs, do her business (did anyone pick up dog poop then?) and return.  One day, she didn’t return. When we eventually noticed this, we organized a search, both in the park and the neighborhood.

We never found her. Perhaps she went in search of a better brand of dog food, or someone who was more responsible. Or maybe her former owners had simply moved to far away Stangelville, Wisconsin and didn’t want to take her, so she took off on a months-long trek to find them. I like to think she finally arrived, and can imagine the headline in the Stangelville Daily Bugle: “Intrepid Setter escapes Chicago to find former owners!”   (To be continued.)

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Copyright 2017, Patrick F. Cannon

 

What Law? 

By Patrick F. Cannon

Now, I don’t want to accuse everyone who’s reading this of being a law breaker, but chances are you’re as guilty as sin. Have you every jaywalked? Crossed against a light? Failed to come to a complete stop at a stop sign? Driven through an intersection when the light has turned red before you cleared it? Exceeded the posted speed limit? Talked on a hand held cell phone while driving? Texted while doing the same? Fiddled a bit on your income taxes? Are you a bicyclist who’s flaunted every traffic law on the books? And, horror of horrors, have you neglected to scoop up your doggies poop?

Let’s be honest – we all occasionally break the law or laws we find inconvenient. Human nature, we might say. When we do, we generally put only ourselves in jeopardy. And surely, some of the laws on the books are just plain silly. Legislators at all levels seem to think they must leave nothing their constituents might do to chance. So many laws, indeed, that the poor police have no earthly way of enforcing them all.

What do we say then when our elected leaders decide which Federal laws they wish to enforce, and which to ignore? You may well say, if your own politics agree, that the President of the United States is within his rights not to enforce a law with which he disagrees, and be furious when the next President decides the very opposite. You may have noticed the current occupant has issued double the number of executive orders as his predecessor, which his successor has promised to reverse.

There was a time, one imagines, when time and circumstances rendered some law obsolete or even odious, and it was repealed. Apparently, political gridlock has rendered this sensible alternative impossible, thus leaving it to our leaders to decide which laws they will enforce and which ignore. Before you accept this as the status quo, as we seem to have accepted that Congress has lost the power to declare war, I ask you to consider this exchange in Robert Bolt’s play (and later movie) A Man for All Seasons as perhaps relevant to today’s situation. It is between Sir Thomas More and his son-in-law William Roper, and is related to what Roper believes are repugnant laws during the reign of King Henry VIII (who will eventually cause the future Saint Thomas More to lose his head).

Roper: So now you give the Devil the benefit of law?

More: Yes, what would you do? Cut a great road through the law to get after the Devil?

Roper: Yes, I’d cut down every law in England to do that!

More: Oh? And when the last law is down, and the Devil turned ‘round on you, where would you hide, Roper, the laws all being flat? This country is planted thick with laws, from coast to coast, Man’s laws, not Gods! And if you cut them down, and you’re just the man to do it, do you really think you could stand upright in the winds that would blow then?  Yes, I’d give the Devil benefit of law, for may own safety’s sake!

If you have never seen the movie – the great Paul Scofield plays More – you might want to look it up. As with all great works of art, it still speaks to us.

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Copyright 2017, Patrick F. Cannon

 

 

 

Resolve! 

By Patrick F. Cannon

The New Year is upon us. What we do in the next 12 months may well alter the course of human events for all time to come, or at least for a day or two. As it is customary for delusional people like me to make resolutions, I offer these. Please feel free to adopt some or all for yourself; no royalties will be charged. Some depend on the resolve of others, for which I have usually hoped in vain.

As politicians at all levels continue to fail us, I am going to ignore them as much as possible. I will only get involved when I have an opportunity to sign petitions limiting their terms of office or taking away from them the power to gerrymander electoral districts to insure their reelections.

For the first time, I am unable to hope that the Chicago Cubs will finally win the World Series. Cubs fans may not know this, but the Chicago White Sox won this event in 2005. Now, we can dream that the two teams, joined as they are by the El’s Red Line, will soon meet in a “subway series.” I dare not imagine this will happen in 2017, but a recent trade gives hope that the Sox may only be a couple of years away from contending. Let us hope that their rise isn’t matched by an inevitable Cubs decline.

Staying in sports, we can dream that the McCaskey family will finally sell the Bears, thus giving hope that a new owner might emulate what the Ricketts family has done for the Cubs. The McCaskey clan seems only interested in providing a place of employment for otherwise unemployable members of their own family. I urge them to take the money and run before their fans get the jump on them.

I resolve to keep reminding my fellow citizens that facts are pesky things and often contradict their most cherished beliefs, to whit:

• Government intervention can reverse the tides of history and return manufacturing jobs to America. Most of the lost jobs are now done by computer-driven machines. They cannot come back because they no longer exist. Be wary of politicians who tell you otherwise.[1]
• Genetically Modified Organisms (GMOs) will destroy life as we know it. Many so-called “environmentalists” peddle this nonsense despite numerous studies that have proven that they are not only safe, but many will reduce the need for chemical fertilizers and weed killers. Avoid buying products that pander to ignorance by advertising their products as “GMO Free.”
• Illegal immigrants are flooding over the borders and stealing jobs from the natives. Actually, the number of illegals has stabilized in recent years, with the number from Mexico actually declining. The percentage in the work force is about 8 percent, down from the peak of 8.3 percent in 2008. By far, the highest percentages of illegals are in agricultural related jobs, mostly the kind of stoop labor Americans refuse to do.

Finally, I resolve to think as little about Donald Trump as is feasible. He is an ignorant vulgarian and will try to haunt my every dream. I am further resolved to let the other branches of government do what they were designed to do and hope for the best.

Copyright 2016, Patrick F. Cannon

[1] This is my first footnote, and therefore historic. When you see one, if you’re already bored, you may safely ignore it. In this case, I would just add that during the election both candidates railed against the trade agreements that have reduced abject poverty around the world. They claimed they wanted to “save” American jobs. The classic case of doing such is the Smoot Hawley tariff of 1930. It drastically raised tariffs on foreign goods, which caused other countries to raise their own tariffs on ours. The unemployment rate in 1930 was 8.7 percent, in 1931, 15.9 percent and by 1933, 24.9 percent. What do they say about history repeating itself?

Family 

By Patrick F. Cannon

My brother Pete will be 80-years-old on January 4. Because he will be in Florida by then, one of his grand daughters arranged an early celebration in Pittsburgh for December 10. Jeanette and I flew in on the 9^th, so we could spend a bit more time with Pete and his wife Mary Beth. I mention his grand daughter because her arranging the event is indicative of how much his family appreciates all that he has done and keeps doing for them.

He is 14 months older than me, so do the math. Because both of our parents died in their 40s, I have known him longer than I have known anyone. We are now separated by 500 miles; once, it was a few feet from crib to crib or a few more feet from bed to bed. I won’t go into our life stories, except to say it was often a story of riches to rags, and then happily back to riches again.

People say we resemble each other physically. I don’t know. We do resemble each other in some other respects. We both served in the military and used the G.I. Bill to get our university degrees. We have children of roughly the same ages and raised them while going to school part time. We have 14 surviving first cousins, and spent much of our childhood with them and the others who died too young. Only one of them (himself a fine man) is from my father’s family, of whom generally the less said the better.

Three of the four who live in the Pittsburgh area came to Pete’s party (the fourth would have loved to have been there, but had an unavoidable conflict).  We saw most of the rest of them in July at the semi-annual Donnelly family reunion, held for many years at a resort in the Laurel Highlands, about an hour east of Pittsburgh. It was the 50^th anniversary of the first one, which was more modestly held at a picnic pavilion at Renziehausen Park in McKeesport, PA. I didn’t attend the first one, but have been to most of them since.

I mention all of this, not because you might be fascinated, but because it occurred to me when I was at Pete’s party that I am the member of a family that works at being a family. I don’t know how many were at this year’s reunion, but it must have been at least 75, spanning four generations. At my age, I find it comforting that I am still close to my cousins, even though many live far away. I’m also  fortunate to have my late sister’s three daughters and their families and friends.

My wife Jeanette has an even larger family. She has no fewer than 50 first cousins, most of whom live in Wisconsin, where her father was born and where most of the family remains. They also have a reunion, on even a larger scale than my family’s. We have attended some, but also sometimes drive up from Chicago just to visit her elderly aunts and uncles. In addition, Jeanette’s two sisters have seven daughters (and seven sons-in-law) and they all live in the Chicago area with their many children. During the course of a year, we’ll usually see them all at some family event or another.

I realize that not everyone is as fortunate as we are. When you get older, you’re inclined to read the obituaries in the paper most days. Often, the featured and bylined obit will end with the phrase “no immediate survivors.” In most cases, though, the deceased left behind many friends, who become a kind of substitute family for people who have outlived their own. Anyway, when we begin to think we’re overburdened by family commitments during these holidays, we should spare a thought for those who wish they were. And maybe, if you have a few bucks in your pocket, give one or two to that homeless person you might normally pass by.

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Copyright 2016, Patrick F. Cannon

 

 

Just Don’t Go 

By Patrick F. Cannon

William F. Buckley, Jr. (1925-2008) and Norman Mailer (1923-2007) could not have been more opposite in their backgrounds and politics. Buckley was a Roman Catholic from a wealthy Connecticut family, who became the founding editor of The National Review, the country’s foremost journal of conservative political thought. Mailer was the quintessential New York Jewish liberal intellectual. They were, therefore, ideal debate candidates.

It was in this role that I saw them in person, although I later tried to hire Buckley as a speaker. He had a conflict, but sent me a charming letter of refusal. In any event, I attended one of their debates in the late 1960s at a synagogue in Chicago’s Hyde Park neighborhood. Chicagoans will know that Hyde Park is the location of the University of Chicago, and has a notably brainy population. Most in the audience would have been more politically in sympathy with Mailer, but they were quite happy to let Buckley have his say.

I really don’t recall what exactly they were debating about, but it was spirited. From the tone, you would have thought they were mortal enemies. Imagine my surprise when I later discovered they became friends, which was typical of Buckley, who seemed amazingly able to divorce the personal from the political.

I don’t know who sponsored that long ago debate. I do know, however, that if the University of Chicago or any of its related organizations invited someone like Buckley to give a speech today, all hell would break loose. Student and other groups would demand that the invitation be withdrawn; if it were not, they would do everything they could to disrupt the proceedings. If the speaker were bold enough to actually take the podium, they would try to shout him or her down. Often, unfortunately, they would succeed. In some cases, students and others have even resorted to violence to scare unpleasant ideas away.

This kind of betrayal of free speech – enshrined in the very First Amendment to our Constitution – is happening at universities throughout the country. Some have even withdrawn invitations to spare their poor students from hearing something the students have decided they don’t want to hear. This is a denial of the very idea of the academy as a place where students are exposed to the widest possible views as a preparation for being able to make informed decisions later in life. In many cases, they are aided and abetted by Marxist-leaning professors, who have somehow failed to notice that history has passed them by.

While there are some universities that still insist that their students receive at least a basic liberal education, many others are giving students wide latitude to design their own curricula, one that insulates them from anything they might deem unpleasant. The real world, alas, will not be so accommodating.

While I’m a great believer in mandatory courses, particularly in history and government, no one should be required to hear an invited speaker whose views they detest. The list of speakers I would avoid is long, just as is the list of songs, television shows, books and movies. I recognize, however reluctantly (sometimes!), that others have an absolute right to hear and see what they wish. Preventing them from exercising these rights runs counter to not only the First Amendment, but to our democratic principles as well. But perhaps these young people who would banish any ideas but their own have different role models. I can think of three anti-speech heroes: Adolph Hitler, Joseph Stalin and that late darling of the left, Fidel Castro.

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Copyright 2016, Patrick F. Cannon

 

 

 

 

Love to Run! 

By Patrick F. Cannon

The Thoroughbred horse is bred to run, and only to run. Every one that steps on to the race track traces back to native English mares bred to one of only three imported Arabian stallions. The Arabians added spirit and endurance to the speedy local mares, creating a breed that could carry that speed over longer distances.

That was a bit over 400 years ago, and the breed has been closed for almost that long, i.e., only Thoroughbreds bred to other Thoroughbreds are recognized. And they are the only breed I’m aware of that must be bred naturally; no artificial insemination is permitted, While they are bred in most states, the center of  the Thoroughbred breeding industry in the United States is the area around Lexington, Kentucky. In Europe, Ireland has become the leading breeding center, but England and France are also important. Japan and Australia also have their claims. But no matter where they’re bred, they’re all related.

The Thoroughbred does not have to be convinced to run; it wants and even needs to run. If you were to visit any of a number of farms in Lexington, you would see the proof of this. Farm visits are best done in the fall, since the late winter and early spring are the prime breeding seasons, and many farms are closed to the public. By the fall, however, most foals have been weaned and some farms will grant you access. If you go, you’re likely to see a group of weanlings together in a paddock. They may be grazing when you arrive, but eventually they will simply begin running as a herd, just as they would in the wild.

Even after their racing careers are over, they continue to run. When my children were small, we visited Spendthrift Farm, then the home of Seattle Slew. He was alone in a paddock, and the kids climbed on the fence to look at him. He was on the other side of the paddock and when he spotted them, he ran across at full speed and stopped in front of them. As I recall, it was my daughter Beth (sorry Patrick if I misremembered) who put her hand out to touch him, whereupon a farm worker yelled “get you hand back. He’s a mean one and might bite you!” Imagine, almost being bitten by a Triple Crown winner! (If you ever want to visit a farm in Lexington, I suggest you consider contacting one of the following farms and make an appointment: Claiborne, WinStar, Coolmore, Lanes End or Three Chimneys. If you go in October, you can also take in the races at Keeneland, whose next door neighbor is the legendary Calumet Farm, breeder of 8 Kentucky Derby winners.)

While this is not the place for a primer on breeding, its basic principle is you “breed the best to the best to get the best.” Tapit, for example, the leading sire in North America for the last three years, is the great-great grandson of Seattle Slew, who himself is a descendent of Bold Ruler, who was the sire of Secretariat.

I attended my first Thoroughbred race in 1957. Looking for something different to do, I took the Illinois Central train direct to Washington Park in Homewood, Illinois. It was then one of two major tracks in the Chicago area, the other being Arlington Park in Arlington Heights. Both were then owned by the Lindheimer family. I won’t go into their history, but only Arlington remains after Washington Park burned down.

I have previously written about the decline of racing in Illinois, but in their heyday (1920s to roughly the 1970s), they were as important as any tracks in America. I was too late to see them, but Triple Crown winners like Citation and Whirlaway raced there, as did Nashua and Swaps in a famous 1955 match race. The first great horse I saw was Round Table, who won important races at both tracks and was Horse of the Year in 1958. An iron horse, he won 43 of the 66 races he started, retired as the world’s leading money winner, and went on to a highly successful stud career.

In the years to come, other great horses I saw run included Dr. Fager, who ran a mile at Arlington Park in 1968 in 1 minute, 32-1/5 seconds, still the world record for a dirt track. And he did it carrying 134 pounds, a weight no horse in this country is ever asked to carry now. He broke the record set two years earlier by the great Buckpasser, who won the Arlington Classic in 1 minute, 32-3/5 seconds on his way to being named Horse of the Year.

But the greatest horse ever to run at Arlington Park, and the greatest of the last half of the 20^th Century, was Secretariat. Alas, I didn’t see the race in person, but on June 30, 1973, he ran in an invitational race, winning by 9 lengths in 1 minute, 47 seconds.  This was his first start since winning the Belmont Stakes by 31 lengths in an other-worldly 2 minutes, 24 seconds for the 1-1/2 miles. The next fastest time for the race was a full two seconds slower. Secretariat also owns the track record at Belmont Park for 1-1/8 miles, completing the distance in 1 minute, 45-2/5 seconds. And his Kentucky Derby time of 1 minute, 59-2/5 seconds still stands as the race and track record.

As great as he was, he was fed roughly the same diet – hay, oats and water – as the slowest plug. He never complained, nor ever did a stupid dance when he crossed the finish line. He was rewarded with several years of an active love life. While a successful sire, he never produced his like, but how could he have? He died relatively young at 19, the victim of laminitis, a hoof disease that can now usually be cured. When Jeanette and I visited Claiborne Farm in Paris, Kentucky, we saw his grave and his former stall in the stallion barn. The horse cemetery also contains the grave of the great Round Table, the horse that made me a fan forever.

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Copyright 2016, Patrick F. Cannon

 

 

Happy Anniversary! 

By Patrick F. Cannon

I started blogging last year about this time. I looked at my file and counted 51 previous blogs. I should mention that the count doesn’t include a couple of pieces that I reprinted from another source. Anyway, this is number 52, so I’m declaring this the First Anniversary of Cannonnade. In the past year, I did not miss a single week. Whether that has been a blessing or curse, I leave it up to you to decide.

While I didn’t actually do a count, words totaled about 40,000. Some of the early ones were a bit long. In the future, I’ll try to limit each to about 600 words. That way, if you don’t like a particular piece, you don’t have to wince for too long. A few I would probably take back, but I’ll mention only one.

Just like most of the “experts”, I minimized the Trump phenomenon. Early in the campaign season, I noted that he was only getting a little more than 20 percent of the primary votes, with more than 70 percent of voters opting for one of the other candidates. I thought he had reached his peak, but lo and behold, he kept getting stronger as the other contenders dropped off one by one. As the old saying goes, the number of folks who got it wrong about Trump “could fill Yankee Stadium.” I’m not even sure it would be big enough.

I’m reminded once again of Pauline Kael’s remark (she was the longtime film critic for the New Yorker, and a paragon on the New York liberal intellectual establishment) upon the election of Richard Nixon. Presumably never having left Manhattan Island, she remarked: “I don’t understand how he won. I don’t know anyone who voted for him.”

I do know some people who voted for Trump, and actually understand why, mainly having to do with Hillary Clinton. But larger numbers, the actual margin of victory, voted for him because they felt that both political parties had failed them and they were willing to take a shot. I think they made a mistake in choosing Trump as their savior, but there’s nothing we can do now to change the reality.

In the coming year, I’m going to largely stay away from politics. You’ll find that the pundits who were wrong about Trump won’t be dissuaded from filling in for me. In the meantime, one of our good friends, Judy Higginson of Redlands, California (where she fled to be warm instead of cold) has asked me to write something about horse racing, my favorite sport. Once also America’s favorite spectator sport, the spread of legal gambling has reduced its popularity, but not its charms. I’ll try to convince you of that next week.

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Copyright 2016, Patrick F. Cannon

 

 

Give Thanks 

By Patrick F. Cannon

It has always been good advice to stay away from politics while you’re enjoying your Thanksgiving turkey dinner. The holiday is meant to be a time to give thanks for our blessings, which our politicians have decidedly not given us for many years. So, let’s toss them aside and celebrate Thanksgiving properly.

First of all, let’s give thanks for the amazing turkey. Over the years, farmers have taken a wild bird of amazing toughness and developed one that, properly cooked, can be sublime. I can say that because I have been responsible for making the family turkey for many decades, and it always turns out to be edible, despite my feeble culinary talents.   Were Keats alive today, he would certainly write an “Ode to the Gobbler.”

(Of course, the noble bird isn’t perfect. I had a neighbor during my brief period of living in Albert Lea, Minnesota, who had been the county sheriff. He was part Native American and had a dry sense of humor. After he retired, he decided to raise some turkeys on an acreage he then owned. One night, there was a violent thunderstorm. His herd of turkeys became frightened and herded together, to the point that they smothered each other and mostly died. Sheriffy, as the locals called him, never ate turkey again. He told me their stupidity lost him a lot of money and thereafter he only ate ham for Thanksgiving.)

By tradition, so many side dishes are made that the most finicky of eaters can be satisfied. Even the vegetarians (how sad to be one on Thanksgiving) can find enough to eat. And when all are satisfied, my wife Jeanette and I have at least two more turkey dinners to enjoy, not to mention the turkey soup that the carcass so generously provides.

Around the dining table (supplemented by a card table extension) will be both of our children, Patrick Jr and Elizabeth, he up from Florida for a few days. My niece Ellen and her friend Gary will be there, as well as my son-in-law Boyd, his brother Bart, wife Lisa and son Riley in from Seattle; and daughter Rachel, who now lives in Madison.  Every one of them is reasonably healthy, and all are successful, smart and amiable. If politicians are discussed at all, it will be only to make fun of them.

In addition to being thankful for our families and friends, we can find much else to be grateful for. Amidst all the world’s problems, there is cause for optimism. For example, abject poverty in the world has been reduced from more than 50 percent 50 years ago to less than 15 percent today. In addition to inventing the more obvious technologies that have transformed computing and communications, American scientists have developed medicines and techniques that have helped people around the world live longer and healthier lives. And our agricultural scientists, despite the science deniers who oppose advances like GMOs, are helping farmers feed an increasing world population with an ever declining availability of tillable land.

Our own country is now essentially energy independent; indeed, we are in a position to export fuel. Free market capitalism and some government programs, even though often poorly run, have helped reduce actual poverty to about five percent. Recent research has concluded that dysfunctional families are the only remaining cause of childhood hunger. Finally, I would like to remind everyone that Americans are the most generous people on earth. Our donations of cash and labor help not only our fellow citizens, but people around the world. In addition to social services, our cultural institutions and great universities are the creations of generous philanthropy.

I could go on. Just remember if you will that Thanksgiving is just that, a day to, as the old song says “accentuate the positive.” Let politics intrude on another day.

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Copyright 2016, Patrick F. Cannon

 

 

 

The Melody Lingers On 

By Patrick F. Cannon

When Leonard Cohen died last week, my subconscious juke box began to play one of his most famous songs, Suzanne. It was only one of the many excellent songs he had written, but it was the first one to land on my brain’s turntable.

I doubt that there has been a day in my life when some piece of music didn’t exit me through a whistle or hum. If no one is around (always excepting my poor wife Jeanette, who has to put up with it) some words might emerge as well. My interior play list must contain hundreds, and perhaps thousands of melodies.  When it became clear that Donald Trump had been elected, I recalled Don Cornell’s hit of the early 1950s, This is the beginning of the end, I can see the thrill is gone…. Perhaps if Hillary Clinton had won, I might have crooned an earlier hit from Dick Haymes: The moon was all aglow and heaven was in your eyes, the night that you told me those little white lies.

Neither is a truly great song, but our memories aren’t always as selective as we might wish. Here are the first lines of a few more that don’t belong on my juke box, but are there anyway:

In a quaint caravan, there’s a lady they call the gypsy…

            We ought to bake a sunshine cake; it does more good than a big, thick steak…

            Ramona, I hear the mission bells above…

            An old cow poke went riding out one dark and windy day…

            When I go to sleep, I never count sheep, I count all the charms about Linda (this

because I was in love with a Linda in grammar school)

            Whenna da moon hits you eye like a biga pizza pie, that’s amore…

Well, you get the idea. Pride of place in my memory bank, however, is reserved for the songs of Gershwin, Porter, Berlin, Arlen, Rogers and the others who made American popular music the world’s gold standard. More recently, I would certainly add Lennon, McCartney, Simon, Dylan, Sondheim, Lloyd Weber, and Bacharach, to name just a few.

The reason we remember their songs is that the best ones have a distinctive melody, which is critical in helping us remember the lyrics. Just imagine getting a book full of lyrics for which you didn’t know the melody. Would you even read them, much less memorize them? There’s something in our brain that wants to pair the words and music, that seeks a pattern that will enable us to recall even a song we haven’t heard in years.

Similarly, we seek the same kind of patterns in so-called Classical music. Although the first four notes of Beethoven’s Fifth Symphony couldn’t be simpler, they immediately identify what will follow. The work contains other melodic themes, each developed in ways that make the symphony instantly recognizable to someone who has heard it as many times as I have. I could say the same for other of his compositions, and for those of Mozart, Bach, Shubert, Haydn, Chopin, Brahms, Tchaikovsky, Verdi, and Wagner.

Rap and Hip Hop also have patterns of a kind, although the content is often execrable. Much of Rock music depends more on rhythmic patterns and noise than melody and thus the words often seem irrelevant if they are understood at all. Even serious composers seem to have decided that melody is passé. They compose music that is often understood and appreciated only by other composers and a very small audience.  I find it amusing that some music critics decry the lack of contemporary music in major symphony orchestra programs. While they do their best to feature and even commission some modern music, they understand that their audience and particularly their subscribers want music they understand and actually enjoy. At the risk of seeming like a Philistine, I agree with them. And in the words of the immortal Ink Spots: What good is a song if the words don’t belong [but I also reluctantly agree]… to each his own, to each his own…

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Copyright 2016, Patrick F. Cannon